Former England captain Lewis Moody has announced he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet confront the full consequences of the muscle-deteriorating condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was part of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and won multiple English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast 14 days after discovering he has the condition.
"There's something about confronting what lies ahead and not wanting to fully comprehend that at the present time," he said.
"It isn't that I fail to comprehend where it's heading. We grasp that. But there is certainly a unwillingness to confront the future for now."
Moody, conversing with his wife Annie, explains rather he feels "at ease" as he concentrates on his current wellbeing, his family and planning ahead for when the disease worsens.
"Maybe that's shock or perhaps I process things differently, and when I have the details, it's simpler," he stated further.
Initial Symptoms
Moody discovered he had MND after detecting some lack of strength in his shoulder while working out in the gym.
After physical therapy didn't help the condition, a series of scans showed nerves in his neurological system had been damaged by MND.
"You're given this medical finding of MND and we're understandably extremely affected about it, but it's quite odd because I think nothing's wrong," he continued.
"I don't experience sick. I don't sense sick
"The signs I have are rather minimal. I have some muscle loss in the hand and the shoulder region.
"I continue to be able to performing all activities. And with luck that will persist for as long as is feasible."
Disease Development
MND can advance quickly.
As per the non-profit MND Association, the illness kills a 33% of people within a twelve months and above half within 24 months of diagnosis, as eating and breathing become harder.
Treatment can only delay worsening.
"It isn't ever me that I am upset for," added an affected Moody.
"There's sadness around having to inform my mum - as an single child - and the implications that has for her."
Personal Impact
Conversing from the household with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overcome with sentiment when he spoke about informing his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the devastating news, commenting: "That represented the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two wonderful boys and that was rather devastating," Moody stated.
"We were seated on the couch in crying, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog leapt across and started removing the moisture off our faces, which was quite amusing."
Moody explained the priority was remaining in the moment.
"There exists no cure and that is why you have to be extremely strongly concentrated on just welcoming and savoring all aspects now," he commented.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been very lucky that the sole decision I made when I left playing was to allocate as much period with the kids as possible. We can't reclaim those periods back."
Athlete Connection
Elite sportspeople are unevenly affected by MND, with research suggesting the rate of the disease is up to sixfold higher than in the general population.
It is thought that by restricting the O2 accessible and producing damage to neural pathways, consistent, vigorous training can initiate the illness in those already predisposed.
Sports Playing Days
Moody, who earned 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in honour of his courageous, unwavering style to the game.
He participated through a bone injury of his leg for a time with Leicester and once sparked a workout altercation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he abandoned a tackle pad and began engaging in collisions.
After entering as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the rear of the set piece in the crucial moment of play, creating a foundation for half-back Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the victory-securing drop kick.
Support System
Moody has earlier told Johnson, who captained England to that championship, and a few other former players about his medical situation, but the remaining individuals will be discovering his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a period when we'll need to rely on their support but, at the minute, just having that kind of care and recognition that people are present is all that matters," he stated.
"This game is such a excellent community.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even if it finished now, I've enjoyed all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you get to label your love your vocation, it's one of the greatest honors.
"To have done it for so extended a duration with the squads that I did it with was a delight. And I know they will desire to help in whatever way they can and I await having those conversations."
